It was like I was asking to get caught. I realize the flawed logic I was using to mask losing my straightness was enabling my depravity.
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He put his hand on her shoulder. Hey baby, She said, grabbing his hand on her shoulder.
She had to swallow a lot of pride to ask me how I was doing, to pretend to be interested, and to say that she was wrong to do what she did. That didn't make any of it alright, or acceptable, or forgivable at least not to the point that I would invite her in, which was what she wanted. I remember very clearly that she somehow looked darker all over, and in an unhealthy way. She had the slight appearance of black smudges around her eyes and seemed pale by contrast.